"The Greatest Band on Earth...as told by Tenascious D"
THE GREATEST BAND ON EARTH
(as told by Tenacious D)
the D: Jack Black n Kyle Gass make up the Greatest Band in History: Tenacious D. They started playing together in Kyle’s studio apt on Cochran Ave in Los Angeles. No one could have ever dreamed of where their genius would take them but take them it did…Tenacious D played their first gig at Al’s bar in downtown LA in 94; they were armed with only one song at the time. “Tribute” a tribute to the greatest song in the world that when once played… The small crowds brains collectively exploded!
“Who are these two guys?”
“Why are they so….”
D ciple: so..
the D: well you fill in the adjective…
but at that very first show there was a PECULIAR looking fellow, one David Cross, who said he enjoyed our little fandango and invited us to play a comedy show with him n some friends in Hwood, and that would be the Diamond Club, doing a series of shows with Host Laura Milligan and such guest stars as Ben Stiller and Jeaneane Garafalo to name but a few.
D ciple: just a few.
the d: of course.
our little posse began what was to termed for better or worse the “alternative” comedy movement, but The D was more, much more.
The D began to headline Comedy Night first at Pedros.
D ciple: then?
the D: and then when it moved to Largo, but whenever the D performed, people knew they were witnessing something special. it was hard to describe…
D ciple: but please do…
the D: “What is it? these two guys… playin acoustic guitars yet rockin harder than bands with twice the volume?”
D ciple: “thrice volume…”
the D: so hard
“Why was a live D show so compelling?” the people asked, “so entertaining so mind blowing so… so.. so Rocking?”
It was alm.
D ciple: alm?
the D: sorry. It was almost impossible for people to explain the next day to their friends or co workers.
D ciple: i cant imagine the conversation by the water cooler!
the D: was it this wild lead singer with pipes of platinum?
D ciple: or…
the D: or was it the heavy set bald fellow churning out riffs of pure profundity?
or was it some synergy created by these too unlikely rock gods that really couldn’t be explained but had to be experienced LIVE and in person. Yes that is what it was! who knew that because Jack n Kyle were such uncompromising artists it would be years before they would submit to releasing their songs.
yeah yeah are you taking all this down?
D ciple: i am!
D ciple: keep rolling.
soon Bob Odenkirk n David Cross would want to exploit the D for their own devices.
D ciple: an evil plot?
the D: and take the D’s natural magic, try n bottle it and put it on the small screen on pay cable.
what was created ignited the nation…
D ciple: into flames?
the D: anyone who was witness to the original HBO TV show was treated to nothing less than an entertainment revolution: Jack Black and Kyle Gass have arrived to change the way we listen to sound to change the way we thought.
D ciple: think?
the D: to change the way we might eat a delicious meal.
D ciple: indeed.
the D: but integrity came first as it always does with the D, and all parties had to part ways.
the show that replaced the D? oh I don’t know if you’ve heard of a little show called THE SOPRANOS!
D ciple: hmmm…the 3 tenors?
the D: well Jack n Kyle had something to prove now.
D ciple: and?
the D: so they staged a bidding war, signed with Epic Records, made a record with some wickedly talented dudes: Dave Grohl, Page from Phish, Warren from the Vandals, Steve from Redd Kross and the Dust Bros. in the production seat.
D ciple: due Sept. 25th…....
the D: then Spumco, the creators of Ren & Stimpy, made a rockin’ animated music video for their favorite love song.
D ciple: a silly love song?
the D: not silly, a deep love song called “Fuck Her Gently”, wrote a movie due out next year and blah blah blah.
10 Commandments of the D
1. Never stop Rocking.
2. Legalize all drugs.
3. Quit your day job.
4. All Religion should be taxed.
5. Cut down on carbohydrates.
6. Fuck her gently.
7. Never believe what people tell you after a show.
8. Always take a spoon full of Metamucil after a heavy day of eating.
9. Get at least 9 hours of sleep a day.
10. Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’.
Fuck Her Gently